Let’s Get Personal…

Taking time off to try and heal from losing someone in my life was hard. My mother passed away unexpectedly and it’s been a very difficult time. At first, I wanted to be really open, and share what I was going through with y’all because that’s the type of person I am. The problem was, I couldn’t find the words to say to express how I was feeling.  The only way I know how to explain what I’m feeling so far is it’s almost as if I’m missing an arm or leg. I know it sounds a little weird, okay maybe really weird, but she was part of me.

When I first found out about my mother, I thought I would be back to blogging in a week or so. I’m not really sure how I came up with that amount of time, but it turns out I needed more time than I thought.  The crazy thing is, grieving is one of those things that doesn’t have an exact formula for how much time is needed. I couldn’t seem to find the joy and passion I normally have for my blog after my mom passed away. I didn’t want to get dressed up, or do much of anything. Thankfully I have good friends that made me get dressed up every once in a while. Getting out of the house for a random Tuesday lunch, or coffee date really helped.  My friends gave me the opportunity to talk out my feelings and help me work through the pain of missing her.  My mom and I used to talk almost every day, so having my friends really helped.

 I still have moments where I can’t believe she’s gone. I think if I hadn’t seen her with my own eyes I would still think there was a huge mix up. On the flight to Charlotte I kept thinking it can’t be her. She was only 53 years old, and a new 53 at that. I feel like she was just here leaving me one of her famous voicemails that my sisters and I laugh about. My mom would leave the cutest voicemails always telling me the time in Charlotte and the time in Texas in her messages. I think what sticks with me the most is that holidays, and milestones for my family are going to be bitter sweet for me because I won’t be able to share them with her. She was so excited to be a grandma. She would say he is beautiful, and kind of put an emphasis on the i in beautiful. It was kind of her thing. She did it with the word Christmas. I’m going to really miss her afternoon calls to see if I had time to talk, or if I was feeding the baby. It’s the everyday moments I’m going to miss the most.

 I’m looking forward to getting back into the groove of blogging and sharing my passion with each of you very soon. Thanks so much for stopping by, and I hope y’all have a good weekend!!!